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ShinanaPixelBases

I make pixel-friendly bases
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Long time no see everyone! Sorry for the ghosting and inactivity. A lot of stuff happened in my life this year that I'm not ready to talk about. But I will mention about the changes to this account.


First off, a CORE membership on this account too?! Christmas came early! So I took this opportunity to change my username. I've been wanting to do that for years now. ShinanaEvangelian1 was just not a good name for a base making account imo. This account was originally a backup account but then I turned it into a base making account on a whim. So it's no longer ShinanaEvangelian1, It's ShinanaPixelBases. Think of it as Shinana, Pixel, Bases without the space and commas.


Second, thanks to CORE membership and it's awesome features, I decided to put my NSFW bases in a watchers only folder. I have not had any issues in recent times in regards of them with naysayers, but now I wish to take that precaution while I have CORE and protect them as much as possible. All I ask is please for the love of all things awesome, do NOT watch just to peek into my watchers only folder(s) and then unwatch me. I will take that as suspicious activity and block you if such happens. Only watch me because you love my bases and want to use them (but never forget the rules), not for any other reason.


That is all. Have a wonder Friday and weekend, everyone!

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Hi everyone! Man I haven't been active on this account for a long time. My last base submission was... back in April this year?! Damn! I'm so sorry. A lot has happen this year for me. I work full time and have been since June, I'm being run ragged as of late, been having low energy and other times not enough time to indulge in my hobbies. In other cases, I have been hitting rock bottom emotionally from all of the shit that's happened. I hope to be more active and submit more bases, but there's only one month left. Man time flies. TT_TT


Lately I've been into Yu-Gi-Oh, well more into Yu-Gi-Oh GX than the others. Let me tell you, I'm not a fan of the English dub as it's done by 4Kids and I'm not a fan of the name changes, some VAs and puns. But I did find the sub and I don't say this often, it's better than the dub. I can't be the only one who wishes that Yu-Gi-Oh GX either gets an adaptation or a re-dub. Anyways, I wanted to make some bases from said show and that's my personal goal.


I hope everyone is well and Happy Holidays everyone! It's good to be back.

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I apologize for such a journal but please read my reasons before you comment. It's been over a year since my last journal entry and wished to drop an update and been a while since my last submission. I don't want any confrontations on this post. Just getting my feelings out. If you don't agree or if this post pisses you off just pass this by.


I don't know why I still feel the way I do, it comes in waves as it seems. I don't know what this means for base making in general but I don't wish to give up on it but I'm also feeling jaded. I'm not sure how do I get out of this rut but advice would help a lot. I also have plans of posting bases that I did not trace from anime screenshots but been kinda on the fence on how to go about debuting them. I want to make some points on the matter by making them P2U but I'm not sure.

WARNING: POSSIBLE TRIGGER AHEAD!

I'll try my best to keep this as tactful as possible but in return, try to look at this as objectively as possible. To people who have issues with my lack of yaoi/yuri content and my 'it's not allowed with my bases' policy, I'm gonna say right here and now that I've already learned that I just can't win with people no matter which way I do things. Even if I DID make yaoi/yuri bases, then I'd be bullied for making homosexual things.


No LGBTQ+ type artwork? "IGNORANT HOMOPHOBIC TRASH!!!"


Have LGBTQ+ type artwork? "YOU'RE AN UNGODLY HUMAN WHO NEEDS TO BURN IN HELL, STUPID HOMOSEXUAL SINNER!!!"


Well, am I wrong?


It is seriously depressing how humans seem to work. Some people are just as ugly as the insults they carelessly fling at someone. Not realizing that the person behind the screen has feelings.

Also LGBTQ+ is another precarious matter for me as yaoi/yuri fan artists will try to find it as a loophole and try to pass their yaoi/yuri pairings as "supporting the LGBTQ+ community" when in reality it doesn't. Yaoi /= supporting LGBTQ+. Yaoi and Yuri are fetishes and most of the LGBTQ+ don't like Yaoi/Yuri. I even read a comment thread on here where someone said they're from the LGBTQ+ community and they don't like Yaoi nor believe it's supporting it only for a Yaoi fan artist to even call them a homophobe. Wut?


I've found this and it's in regards to Yaoi/Yuri and even those that don't like the content. Feel free to feel whatever you want, but please being objective on the matter when you read it. Click on the picture for more info.

I feel like everything written there is important but just in case there are those TL;DR types of people, here are a couple things from it to highlight my points. However I do suggest you read it when you get the chance. Keep in mind that the words in big fonts are someone else's words, not mine.

7-''PEOPLE WHO HATE YAOI ARE HOMOPHOBES''

This one actually gets really on my nerves, just like the accusations of rape because of simply liking yaoi this one is also stupid. People have said countless of times why most people don't enjoy Yaoi. Most people don't like gay shipping and others because of what I mentioned above: the unrealistic views, the massive out-of-character representations,the few fanatics who treat rl gay people like crap and other reasons(aka. most people hate yaoi because it's either not visually appealing or because the fandom is terrible). People not liking Yaoi doesn't mean crap, they can hate Yaoi and still be LGBT+ and I personally suffered that and it's just really stupid. People who are anti-Yaoi have their own reasons and no matter what they are it doesn't make them anti-LGBT nor anti-homosexuality or anything like that. I personally ask for all the people that loves gay shipping and yaoi to stop with that, unless the person declare they are in fact an homophobe this is utterly pointless.


9-HATING ON PEOPLE FOR NOT SHIPPING GAY CHARACTERS

Again, this is just disrespectfull. Just like any other preference people shouldn't be attacked for only having straight ships and to be honest I like yaoi,yuri and hetero couples. I am also one of the few people who likes to make gay couples into heterosexual ones mostly because I have a thing for small females and muscular guys together like this:

I even asked myself, "Should I force myself to make certain things that I'm uncomfortable with just to please others?" I'm sorry but if I do that, then I'm not being true to myself and will just stop making bases all together. I would sooner quit base making if I had to do the former. I made this account to make bases and to share what I have with others, not to be expected to make what the masses want from me and be judged for what I don't make. You can't please everyone. I never meant to hurt anyone and if I did, I apologize for it. I will also say, I never went out deliberately to look for trouble or to instigate it. I never went to say insulting things to yaoi/yuri artists for the content they draw and I never will. People are free to draw what they want but there are consequences to what we draw, and I'm sure they know that too. I hate drama. Who doesn't?


So to people who just love to throw shade at base makers and bring down those who don't allow yaoi/yuri with their bases or just don't like the content, please do not be a cyberbully. You're just bringing someone down the same why others have brought you down which brings down their self esteem, and that's not the best way to go about it. Always remember, behind the screen is a person with feelings. If you wouldn't like it if someone attacked you, why do that to someone else? It won't make you a hero, it won't make you awesome, it won't make me the villain, and it won't change my mind. Treat people the way you'd want to be treated, but it doesn't have to effect my gallery's content as I fill it with what I want just like you do with yours. If you don't like what I have to offer, then please don't engage in it especially if you're not gonna be nice about it and pass it by. I've only come here to bring positivity, and share my bases with others. If that's not enough to convince you then go away. I'll always be true to those who support me.


If you offended someone and it was never your intention to offend them, you are not responsible for them being offended. Being offended is a choice.
Unless you are intentionally trying to offend them.

Instead of leaving insulting comments on someone's homepage, deviation, journal, etc please do this instead; click the back button, click Search and Discover and look something up, unwatch me, put me on muted tags, or just block me so you won't have to see my stuff. Either way, doing any of these other options won't hurt my feelings. I'm at that point where if you start acting like a bully then congratulation, you just got blocked by yours truly. I have better things to do than to waste my time with someone who wants to make a negative first impression and wants to bring me down all because they got their feelings hurt by their own volition.


Please don't worry about me too much, I was just stating what I couldn't say before.

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Vent

7 min read
A continuation from this. It will be lengthy.

I've been pondering about writing this or not. I'm worried by writing this and putting it out in public I might be reopening old wounds, but I can't ignore it anymore. I figured it's best I finally let it out so I can feel a bit at ease. And hopefully that, a lot more would understand me.

Thinking back years ago on my early years on this account, I never understood my younger self. I know I did and said a lot of stupid things in the past regarding this account and bases. We've all done dumb things when we were younger, and some don't have the wisdom to figure out how to properly deal with certain situations head-on or have the fortitude to not let it get to us. If you've been keeping up with me, you would know I had a lot going on in my life on this account. I don't even know what I'm currently dealing with. Depression? Anxiety? Exhaustion?

What kept me going and brought me this far was my passion. I love dolling bases (on my other account), but I also love making bases and I especially adore sharing them with others, it's the only thing I know that helped me escape from the harshness of reality.

Each of the bases I finished and uploaded was a healthy coping mechanism and I was able to channel all of those negative energy into them and turn them into something creative and useful. I was happy at the moment, because even if it's not everyone's cup of tea, it gave me incentive. And when people would use and compliment my bases, the feeling was so overwhelmingly amazing. It became more wonderful when I met people of similar interest and for a long time in my life, I became an active fan; hyping, making bases, others using and showing me their finished part. Something that I have been and done for a long time now. I thought that substituting making bases when not dolling by giving the same love to something I currently enjoy was good enough for me and others can enjoy them too if they want. 

Then I was shot down for it. Others had complained about it, mostly directly to me. Hurtful words given to me over what I didn't allow them to do. It still stung no matter how much I tried not to overthink it or dwell on it. I became so upset and bitter. I tried to pick these pieces back up but I felt the shadow looming over me. I felt so chained because I was not making bases that others want me to. I felt like I was being disappointing and failing everyone.

I began to notice my fall when I started to lose interest with making bases. It started off as a slow burn out (or so I thought), then it progressed to something worse. I became discouraged and stressed out when I couldn't feel the motivation and love that I had for it. I feel like I'm not good enough. Releasing negativity and turning them into wonderful pieces I and others could enjoy was one of the healthiest coping mechanism I had, but I couldn't connect that emotion with my bases. And thus it became like a blockage. I felt this feeling for a long time now, but I brushed it off and continued to make bases anyway, hoping that wonderful feeling will arouse like it used to but it didn't.

I couldn't make what I wanted without receiving disparagement, and what others wanted from me is something I'm starting to feel: ashamed and judged. It has taken its toll on me and before I knew it, I slowly became distant. I didn't talk with others like I used to. I felt like I was punishing myself and others, because of this I feel disconnected. I blocked and muted anyone to cease them from contributing more to the negative energy that was already piling inside of me, unable to put them on my bases. I was afraid of lashing out and doing something stupid, I didn't want to make things worse for myself and losing more. 

One problem after another, I felt like I became a terrible person and friend to those I neglected. I didn't mean to but I'm on the brink to crumble myself. I couldn't risk hurting myself more than I already have. And I didn't get better because I couldn't channel them all through making bases because I felt like I'd be shamed, humiliated and stigmatized again.

So now I'm back to where I was, having an empty feeling with my bases. I never wanted to hate the things I used to enjoy making. It has done so much for me, I met many wonderful people because of it and it has helped me go this far. I tried to push them all away, that the hurtful words are just words and it won't hurt if I don't let them get to me. But I couldn't because I was already in a terrible situation and the emotions I tried to change into something more positive by making bases couldn't be done. There was no healthy coping mechanism for me left if it's not in art. 

So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for abandoning the people I cared about. I'm sorry for not responding to the messages, commenting on finished bases dollers used from me. I'm sorry for not making more bases than I used to. I'm just sorry for the terrible person I was years ago. I didn't mean to, I really don't but there were some things I couldn't dish out properly. I can't tend to others if I can't care for myself. I can't recall how much I'm sorry for all of this. Guilt is obviously chewing on me too and I don't know how many apologies I can offer to make it better.

I'm still hurt and my body is reacting terribly again thanks to dwelling on it even as I type this. And it's worse when I can't do something creative at all so it's piling in me again. I'm trying to mend it in other ways, by diverting it to something else that's funny and positive but it also means ignoring others to heal myself because I can't deal with any more negativity, even the pent-up ones. And with that, again. I'm very sorry. I wish I'm strong and capable but I'm just not.

I do have trouble expressing how I feel sometimes. But I hope this might explain my situation better and that everyone understands. I just don't know what to do in this situation anymore but I'm trying to get better. Aside from dolling bases, making bases was the one thing that helped me get better fast but for now... I'm taking a break from making bases. I just don't want it to get worse though because not being able to express it creatively and connect that amazing feeling for my work is incredibly discouraging. Being separated from my hobby for a long time is damaging for me. But I can't even help myself.

Don't worry too much for me, I will be fine. I'm sorry if this journal upsets or worries anyone. That's not my intention (but I'm sorry if it does). I'm going on another journey to recover myself, and I do hope for the day when I finally feel a lot better and able to return to where I am with a better version of myself. Until then.
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This has been something that I've been on the fence about. I feel like adding something new to my gallery that I don't focus on - Disney. But preferably Canon and FC. I made one that is Disney but granted from a show. Jake and FC Base by ShinanaPixelBases What do you think? Yay or nay? And any characters from Disney that are in high demand?

UPDATE: To everyone who is very supportive and approving of this, thank you so much. I'd reply to you individually but my reply will be repetitive and I don't have a lot of time.
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